Long vs Short Engagements: Is one better than the other?

Apr 26, 2023 | Blog

Long vs short engagement

Photo credit: Anni Maria Photography

Long vs Short Engagements: Is one better than the other?

Have you been wondering about which is going to be better: a long engagement or a short engagement? You might be excited to get your wedding planning under way but is one of the questions you are battling with how soon, or how far away, the actual wedding date should be? This is something that many couples don’t take enough time to think through, instead they run head long into planning a wedding, picking a date based on convenience or wedding venue availability. However, it would be wise and it’s my recommendation to sit down and talk through the pros and cons of a long engagement versus a short engagement and then decide on what’s best for you as a couple.

5 Benefits of a Long Engagement

(10 – 24 months)

  1. You get more time to plan the details of your special day. A long engagement gives you plenty of time to ensure that all the little details are taken care of, and that the day will go off without a hitch. If you are a perfectionist – and let’s face it we all are when it comes to our wedding day – then a long engagement which provides more time for planning, could be exactly what you need.
  2. You have more time to save up for the wedding. A longer engagement gives you more time to save up money for the wedding of your dreams and means you don’t have to worry about going into debt. There will always be some things that you want that are non-negotiables and having a long engagement can ensure you have the time to save up and set aside money for what is important to you. I love to offer my custom brides payment terms that help them afford the dress of their dreams, sometimes over a 18 to 24 month plan).
  3. You have more time to enjoy your relationship. Engagements focussed on wedding planning can often be stressful, so a longer engagement gives you more time to spend with your partner where you can enjoy your relationship before the wedding. Planning a wedding can be stressful for both of you, but with a longer engagement your planning can be done at a more leisurely pace, and you can still enjoy being a couple and spending time together.
  4. You can plan the wedding more thoughtfully. With a longer engagement, you have more time to really think through the decisions you’re making and make sure that the wedding reflects who you are as a couple. There will be lots of decisions to make during your wedding planning, so ensuring you have plenty of time to make the right decisions could be key.
  5. You can take time to make lasting memories. A long engagement allows you to take your time and make lasting memories, rather than feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

A long engagement can be a great way for you to ensure you have everything you desire in place for your wedding day. But they aren’t right for every couple…

5 Benefits of a Short Engagement

(3 – 10 months)

A shorter engagement often creates a greater sense of excitement and anticipation of the wedding day. Friends, family, and loved ones will be excited at the news of your engagement, having a short engagement period means they will remain excited as your wedding day approaches.

  1. Working to a tight deadline with a short engagement could end up saving you some money. With less time to plan and add in ‘extras’, you could find yourself saving a significant amount of money. You may even find venues or vendors who you can negotiate lower prices with when you make a last-minute booking – but there is the risk that they’re already fully booked. For example your dress may need to be bought ‘off the shelf’, if there’s not adequate time to get yours made.
  2. You can be more efficient in your planning and decision-making processes. With a short deadline and less time to dwell on the options, and dare I say it – procrastinate, you will find that you become more decisive and go with your ‘gut’ on decision making, saving you time, and stress.
  3. You will remain focussed on the marriage itself. With a short engagement period you will find the focus less on ‘stuff’ and more on the marriage itself and what is going to happen after the wedding. This can make for a much smoother transition into married life.
  4. If you’re not much of a planner, or you know you might get consumed by the details then a shorter engagement with fewer elements to the wedding could be just the right option for you. An engagement period where you remain happy, in love, and excited about the upcoming nuptials is key.

A short engagement period could be exactly what you need – a date for the wedding in the not-so-distant future that you can be excited about, smoother decision-making processes as you follow your gut, and money saved as you add on fewer of the ‘extras’ that we can easily be consumed with.

There are positives and negatives to both long engagements and short engagements and with no ‘one-size fits all’ approach it is important that you do what feels right for you and your partner.

I hope that this blog has shed some light on the pros and cons of a long vs short engagement, and that together with your partner you can find which suits you best!

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With love, Jo x